


FF9: Statue Thief, or Thief Statue?

by Elzy



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: Gen, Humor, Literature, fan fiction, petrification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:32:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4941535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elzy/pseuds/Elzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tantalus have been hired to steal from a gallery in Treno, almost impossible to get into unless you're a work of art yourself. Zidane draws the short straw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FF9: Statue Thief, or Thief Statue?

It was mid-afternoon in Lindblum, and Zidane Tribal was doing what he did best when Tantalus did not have a job. he was doing nothing at all. Lounging around in the hideout in the day and trying to meet a beautiful woman at night was his usual routine, though as Blank often pointed out, he only managed to do the first part with any success. His lazy slumber was disturbed by Baku barging in.

"Wake up, Zidane! meeting's started!"

"Meeting?" Zidane asked.

The other members of Tantalus, Marcus, Cinna, Blank and Ruby, all followed Baku.

"About the job!" Blank said.

"What job?"

"Shut up and I'll tell you!" Baku said.

The group sat down around a table at Baku's order.

"We've been hired by a Burmecian to steal a jewel from a gallery in Treno. He _says_ it used to belong to his family, stolen hundreds of years ago. I don't know if its true and the amount he's paying us. I don't care. Rhe problem is, the gallery owner collects valuable things - and since he's a serious collector, he has serious security. The gallery floors are patrolled night and day by three dozen guards, and they don't take any predictable route. you might be able to break in, but even if you get far, breaking out will be a lot harder. They don't patrol the gallery itself but the whole place outside is like a fortress." 

"Sooo... how do we steal it?" Cinna asked. Baku responded.

"Simple. Our person on the inside will be breaking out, not in. They'll be hiding in plain sight for a few days then they sneak out with the gem."

"Huh? How?" Blank asked.

"Whoever goes in, goes in as a new artwork. Now, who's volunteering?"

"What? How can one of us go in as an artwork?" Marcus asked.

"Easy. You'll be a statue," Baku said.

"...Ya mean, turn one of us to stone?" Ruby asked.

"well, Cinna's out, who'd make a statue as ugly as him?" Zidane joked.

"Maybe _you_ should do it, Zidane. You've already got the brains of a rock," Cinna retorted.

"Nah, Ruby's much more statuesque, especially if she was a nude..." Blank joked, to the agreement of the others.

"Hold yer horses there! I ain't gettin' turned inta' stone and I ain't gonna be naked!" Ruby fumed. 

"Fine, no one's volunteering. I guess we draw straws," Baku said, and pulled some straw out of his pocket. in his fist, they all looked the same length. the group paused.

"Is someone gonna go first or do I have to draw for everyone?"

"Uh, you're in the draw too, right, boss?" Marcus asked. Baku simply laughed.

"No, don't be stupid. Now someone take a straw."

Cinna shrugged, reached over, and pulled a long straw away. Blank then did the same, getting a slightly shorter straw. Zidane pulled out one half the length of theirs, hoping maybe that there was still a shorter straw. to his surprise, the next two were longer than Cinnas. Zidane stared at his short straw in shock

"The plan is that we go to a sculptor friend of mine. She has a few magic spells that can help us and she can sell her statue to the gallery easily enough. Our statue, Zidane, stays there a few days and then we drop a soft on him from above. Getting into the rooms above the gallery isn't that tricky since it's a public area but getting out with something is because the guards check people out," Baku said.

"Can't someone else do it? I mean, I'm the sneakiest, I can get in and out to drop the soft faster than anyone..." Zidane tried.

"We don't need speed to drop the soft."

"Um... I might not sell? I mean, my tail might look weird on a statue..."

"My friend will figure out a way around it."

"Uh... Ruby really would make a better statue than me?" Zidane tried one last time, getting a slap for his effort.

"Thanks Ruby. Zidane, you lost, accept it. Tomorrow evening, we're taking you to the sculptor."

The blond thief sighed and gave in.

"One condition, I'm not going to be naked."

"Oh, ah dunno, maybe you'd look a lot better than me as a nude..." Ruby joked. None of the others agreed.

* * *

The next evening, Blank and Baku took Zidane to the sculptor's studio on the other side of the city, where Zidane was surprised to learn that the sculptor and mage Baku spoke of was a woman. She looked about thirty, had blonde hair and wore overalls covered in dust and dried clay. Her studio had only one other statue in it, a half-chiselled block of marble that Zidane thought was being made into a statue of a woman.

"Zidane, this is Persephone. she's the sculptor, and she's going to be the one making you into a statue - do everything she says." Baku ordered. Zidane simply smiled and looked at the blonde woman.

"That shouldn't be too tricky. You don't have any rule against going out with your artwork do you?" the (wannabe) womanising young thief said. 

"None of them are very good talkers I'm afraid, but a few of them had better chat-up lines than that one, kid." the sculptor responded.

"What do you want me do?" Zidane said, ignoring her rejection.

"Take your clothes off for starters."

"I thought you didn't like me for a minute there, but I'm not complaining now!" Baku then hit him.

"She wants you to put on some clothes to make you into a statue. when I told her about you she came up with an idea for what you should be," he explained as Zidane rubbed his head.

"What's that?"

The sculptor held up a pile of rags and furskins, as well as a crude looking spear.

"Baku said you were a wild one, so I figured maybe we could make you into a wild man from the outer continents." 

She gave him another look-over

"Well... maybe more of a wild _boy_ ," She corrected.

Zidane ignored the jibe and looked at the clothes. It was a pair of fur boots, shorts made from fur, a leather belt, a thick loincloth, a leopardskin cloak, and various rags of different thickness. Zidane stared at the pile in confusion

"Wrap the thinner rags around your wrists and feet, and the wider rags around your torso. The loincloth has a pouch in it to hide the gem and anything else you might want to steal."

Zidane reluctantly went behind a screen, removed his clothes and tried to get the wild boy clothing on. He found a small hole had been cut to let his tail out of the shorts.

"Where does my tail fit in?" Zidane asked.

"Whatever pose I put you in, that tail has to act like it's just a part of your clothes. I also need to cover it and your hair in clay," Persephone told him.

"Why?"

"Because your hair will look too realistic if we just turn you straight to stone, dummy!" Blank said. Persephone nodded.

"Correct, And just in case they still think you look too real, I have a special spell that will mean for a month only a supersoft will turn you back."

"Um, does that mean you could turn someone into a statue and really sell them?" Blank asked.

"No - all respectable galleries know about the spell and test each statue with a soft if they're suspicious. They repeat it after a month or two in case it was used. Anyone who ever did would be found out sooner or later. They don't use a supersoft because they have a habit of melting real statues. "

"So why do you know these spells anyway?" Zidane then asked.

"it's hard to find a model who can stand statue still, so sometimes, I have them turned to stone so I can copy their pose and appearance without them moving. And before you ask, having them stone means I see how the light hits them in grey - timestopping won't work for that. Now come here," Persephone said

Zidane walked over, as Persephone picked up a bucket of clay. A few minutes later, his hair and tail were clumped together with damp clay, already looking like the hair of a statue.

"Now get on the pedestal here."

Zidane complied, standing onto the granite slab.

"What now?" Zidane asked.

"Stand like you're throwing this spear," Persephone said. Zidane complied.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

"Nope, for a start your tail is waving around and you need to have a face like you really are throwing the spear." 

Zidane sighed, and changed the pose to comply, changing his face to a snarl and relaxing his tail. 

"You've been warned about what happens when you're petrified, right?"

"uh, yeah, but it's never happened to me before..." Zidane said. Persephone sighed.

"some people find it very worrying just to be petrified for a moment. Since you'll be stone for a long time we need to make sure you won't spend the whole time scared witless, so sit down and relax and I'll show you."

"What?" 

"She's going to turn you to stone so you know what it's like,' Baku said.

"Basically, you'll feel your whole body turn cold and stiff instantly with this spell. You'll then be unable to move, not even blink. If your eyes are still open they'll be stuck looking wherever you last looked. Don't ask how you can still see if your eyes are stone, you just can. you'll be able to think, feel, taste, smell, and hear, but not move. Anything happening to you when you were petrified will keep going as long as you are stone, so if you're relaxed,you stay relaxed. If you had a headache, it won't go away. But if it happens to you during petrification it will fade. Say you get wet, when you dry, you'll feel dry, If you get warm and cool down, you'll feel yourself cool down, but oddly you'll still feel just as warm or as cold as you were when you were petrified even alongside what temperature you feel as a statue," Persephone explained.

"...What?"

She began to repeat herself, only for Baku to smack Zidane

"He understood perfectly, he's just a little jerk," Baku growled.

"Gee, thanks for giving me that headache she mentioned, boss..."

"I can hit you somewhere else."

"Ookay, so, I just stay relaxed and it's okay?" Zidane asked

"Yep, now keep relaxed while I turn you to stone to show you."

Zidane nodded, and she cast the spell, and it went as she had said. He turned cold and stiff, he couldn't move, and he couldn't take his eyes off her breasts, but that wasn't actually a change. Then she moved and he found himself staring at the wall instead.

She threw a small glass vial onto him, smashing it and turning him back to flesh.

"Any problems?"

"Other things moving really spoils the view," he complained, resuming his staring contest with her chest. 

"Any questions?" she asked.

"Yeah, can I sleep when I'm stone?"

"You"ll find yourself blank out maybe every week or so..."

"Uh, I'm Zidane, not Blank," Zidane protested, and was hit once more.

"...You'll _black_ out maybe every week or so, but only for a couple of hours. you shouldn't be petrified long enough for that to happen very often, if at all. any other questions?"

"Well, I was wondering what your star sign wa... no," Zidane said, quickly cutting himself off as Baku raised his hand.

"Then get back in the pose."

Zidane stood back up, and to his surprise, he saw the sculptor cast the spell as soon as he was in the pose. He couldn't help but flinch and yelp a little. Instead of the desired statue of a feral warrior standing and hurling a spear, she got a surprised thief flinching back and raising his tail in surprise. sAhe sighed and threw a soft at him, turning him to normal and still yelping in surprise. 

"What was that about?" Persephone asked. 

"You could have warned me!" Zidane snapped. 

"Fine, let's try again, and I'll warn you."

Zidane nodded and resume the pose.

"Are you ready? blink once for yes and twice for no, and when you blink be fast so I don't petrify you trying to say no."

Zidane blinked once, and the mage cast the spell again. This time she got the desired pose. 

' _oh good, she isn't complaining about anything,_ ' Zidane thought. 

Persephone walked around him, checking the statue over. She then produced a measuring tape and to Zidanes surprise, measured the thickness of his now-stone arm.

"No, I'm sorry Zidane, but I don't think you have the look about you for such a brave pose."

' _What's that supposed to mean?!_ '

She threw another soft, and Zidane relaxed his pose.

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"You look more like a young warrior out hunting than an experienced fighter, so I think a better pose might be to have you half crouched and using the spear with both hands."

Zidane stared back at her, confused. To his surprise she walked over and forced him to take the desired pose.

"Like this, and look a little nervous."

"He already does," Blank said, and Baku laughed in agreement. 

Persephone stepped back, and once again petrified Zidane. She forgot to warn him, but he was ready. Again she inspected the statue.

"Hmm, no, we've gone too far the other way I think."

Zidane sighed when he was turned back.

"So what, have me standing up holding the spear like this but look determined?" he said. He was getting a little bored of this, and his tail was waving around.

Persephone was about to speak, then paused.

"It can't hurt to try. And stop waving your tail around or I'll make you stuff it down your shorts."

"Won't anyone who's stupid enough to look at his butt see a big bulge on the wrong side of his shorts then?" Baku asked.

"Not where I would stick it!" Persephone said. 

Zidane quickly stopped waving his tail. Persephone once again cast the spell and looked him over. Zidane could faintly hear her murmur to herself.

"Yes... good..."

She cast a second spell, the one Zidane assumed made him stone unless a supersoft was used. When a soft smashed off him and had no effect, she spoke to Baku.

"He's ready. All we need is a little clay at the base of his tail to hide the seam and we can ship him away."

"Good. see you later, Zidane," his boss said. Zidane's eyes were stuck looking at the door, letting him see his boss and Blank leave. Persephone turned to look at him when they were gone.

"A shame this is temporary, you're much quieter like this." she said, picking up the clay again.

' _hey, watch what you're doing with that clay!_ ' he shouted at her mentally.

* * *

Zidane stood in the workshop, with little else to do. he could faintly see Persephone working on something at a desk, but he couldn't see what.

"Oh, by the way, Zidane, in Treno the current trend is for statues that tell a story. Yours is pretty much what I explained. You will be a warrior from a native tribe from a far away land, stalking his prey in an initiation. I'm just working on the plaque that explains that to whoever looks at you."

She walked over, and held a golden sheet of metal before him. Curved writing was carefully scratched into the metal telling the story of the statue. Zidane couldn't read it properly as she was holding it too low down.

"When we ship you we'll lie you down in a box of wool - You'll be attached to your pedestal separately. I've already put holes in the boots that will match the gaps for the pedestal when you're put in place, so don't worry about us drilling holes in your feet. It's not a long airship ride to Treno, so you won"t be in the dark for too long."

She kept working until the clock struck nine. she left, blowing the lamps out and leaving Zidane standing in the dark. he found that petrified, his eyes didn't adjust to the gloom

'D _id you mean during the trip or what?_ '

During the night, Zidane was at least thankful the clock let him hear what time it was. He wondered if there might be a clock in the gallery, or if he would be in pitch black with no sense of time.

* * *

The next morning, the sun began to leak in through the window. Zidane waited, hearing the clock strike seven, eight, then nine. Soon after nine, Marcus and Blank came into the studio, carrying a crate full of wool. Cinna and Persephone trailed behind.

"Now, carefully lift him from the pedestal and lie him in the crate. Make sure he doesn't touch the edges," Persephone ordered. 

Zidane's three friends carefully lifted the stone thief off the pedestal and gently placed him into the crate. Placing more wool over him, they then shut the crate.

Zidane waited, hearing muffled noises from outside. Then he felt the crate move as someone picked it up. There was a judder as it was put onto something, then the vibrations of cobblestones - presumably he was on a a cart. Shortly after, he was picked up again and finally laid down somewhere still. It didn't last, for shortly after, the rumble of airship engines began.

All he could hear was the rumble of the engine and the muffled noises of the crew moving around the cargo hold. Then the rumbling stopped, and everything reversed. When the second cart stopped and the crate was laid down, Zidane found himself lying motionless for a while. Then the crate was opened. A woman stared down, a beautiful brown haired woman peering at him intently through a pair of glasses. Zidane cursed the fact he was a statue.

' _Hello..._ '

"It is rather detailed," the woman said. 

Four men then lifted him up and out of the crate. the woman began inspecting him closely. she ran her hands over the statue.

' _Hey now, we've only just met, but we can make it work. I'm a statue and you're statuesque..._ '

"We'll need to check. Get a soft."

' _What?!_ ' 

Zidane was panicking a little now. if they used a soft on him, the game was up! the woman smashed the glass against him. he prepared to run...

"Hmm, nothing. Either it's real or we need to check again in a month."

Oh yeah, the spell. Right.

* * *

Persephone was waiting by his pedestal as the crate was carried into the main gallery. the four men lifted him up and put him in place. 

"Yes, that's fine," Persephone said. the four men walked off, leaving Zidane and Persephone alone.

"The gallery is closed today to install new works like you. It opens tomorrow. Enjoy your afternoon..." she said and left as well. 

Zidane was facing the windows of the gallery, and he could see the riverside. Across from him were three statues he could make out. One to his left that looked like a small boy with wings aiming a bow, the one to the right was a man in armour, and the one straight ahead that he could see most clearly was a woman carrying an urn. 

At night, Zidane was glad to see that the moon shone into the gallery for much of the duration. However, he soon learned that when you are an inanimate work of art, life can be very boring.

* * *

When the gallery opened in the morning, all he saw at first were a few staff members moving about, dusting statues off. When they reached him, he discovered that feather dusters still tickled stone. Eventually, patrons began to come in, and with him as a new statue, nearly everyone wandered over to take a look. He then realised by noon that a lot of people were coming over. By evening, he was convinced that hundreds of people had came in and looked at him. Rather than embarrassment, he merely wished he could get that much attention from half... no, twice that many cute women. Better make it four times.

The crowds were thinning out as he considered wishing for six times moe, but he recognised some visitors. Baku, Persephone, Cinna, Marcus, Blank, and Ruby. The others wandered around, but Baku, Persephone, and Ruby stood in front of him

"Yer right, he is better like this. Much quieter," Ruby said.

"Nice to see him not jumping around the place for once," Baku agreed.

"You know, we could just lie..." Persephone said.

"Oh?"

"we leave him here and tell your client something went wrong. have him pay more and we try again?"

"...Gotta admit, sure is temptin'," Ruby said.

'T _his isn't fair!_ ' Zidane shouted in his mind. He could see Baku's face clearly as he grinned.

"Maybe we should think about it.  No, let him have his say. Does that sound good to you Zidane? Don't say anything if you agree."

Zidane tried to say something, but statues of course cannot speak The group left laughing and Zidane hoped they had been joking

* * *

The moon rose in the sky, followed by the sun. More crowds, more than the previous day. Many of them seemed well dressed, and Zidane spotted a few pickpockets in the crowd, his own thief's instincts helping them stand out. there was a boy who hovered around the place, occasionally wandering into the larger crowds. There was a woman who always hung around him, a mistake as she would soon be seen by the staff and those she was robbing. There was a man who seemed to be moving from crowd to crowd.

The sun set again. Zidane waited, hoping to hear noise above him and the dropped supersoft. No luck.

The next day, the same. The crowds, the pickpockets. The woman was gone, but the boy and the man remained. Zidane suspected she had been caught. He wondered what excuses she had made for hanging around one statue all day. Maybe she claimed she found the statue breathtaking. Maybe she had fallen in love with the statue. Or maybe, she was lying and maybe all this money in her pockets proved it.

The sun set, and there was noise from above. Zidane waited, then saw something fall down near the statue opposite. They hadn't been joking! They'd deliberately made a mistake and sold him as a statue forever!

Zidane had visions of himself standing for eternity in stone. He wondered how long it would be before he went insane, seeing crowds walk in to look at him for centuries. Maybe some day he would sleep like Persephone had warned him, but never wake up. Or would he lose popularity? Would they put him in a storeroom? Would they smash him to bits? He ran himself through nightmare scenarios so long he did not realise the gallery had opened, but even as the crowds began to form, he went straight back to his nightmare-daydreaming.

As he pondered the scenarios, he did not notice Baku trying to find an opening to approach. Eventually he did, and Zidane was snapped out of his trance upon seeing his boss.

 

"Zidane, you might be a little worried about what happened. It was a mix up, that moron Cinna drilled the hole at the wrong end and wasted the supersoft. We were only joking a few..." Baku said, but was cut off as people neared. he waited for them to leave.

"Anyway, thing is, you've become famous, and we think we can cover our tracks. We're going to wait a little while, then we'll turn you back. The first thing you steal is yourself," he grinned.

' _I'm not following..._ 'Zidane thought, but Baku of course did not hear him.

"After you hop off your pedestal, grab the gem. It's in the cabinet fifteen exhibits along from you. While you're still stone, the others will pop in during the week and tell you anything else to steal. I know you probably don't like us changing the plan, but we'll make it up to you."

' _Damn right I'm not happy! I'm here for how much longer? Did you say a week?!_ '

* * *

First, Ruby came the next day, telling him she had spotted two small items - a jewelled egg and a ruby tiara. She neglected to tell him where they were. The next day, the gallery was closed, and Zidane was once again subjected to the tickles of the feather dusters used to dust the statues off. Ruby's mistake lead to Cinna returning two days later to correct the error, explaining where the items were. A day passed without anyone from Tantalus coming. Then the next day, someone else came - a well dressed tall man spoke to a member of staff in front of him.

"I would like to see the owner, please," he asked. 

The staff member nodded and left, returning with a short fat man.

"I presume you are the representative from Alexandria?" the fat man said. 

"Yes. Queen Brahne as you know, is a collector of fine statuary from around the continent. She has heard of this new statue and wonders if it will ever be up for sale?"

The fat man almost choked. If Zidane's throat wasn't marble, he might have too.

"A-at the moment it is not for sale. It has only been on display a week, and... and wouldn't Her Majesty prefer to see it first?"

"She has bought many fine artworks on their reputation from her trusted advisers who have seen them. She has never been proven wrong by their advice. By _my_ advice."

"W-well, if there is any further intrest by other buyers, we may auction it off... but as you will know, we may have to wait a month to make sure it's not a real person petrified..."

"That is not a problem. The queen can help overcome any legal problems from such matters..." the tall man said. The fat man swallowed nervously.

' _What's that supposed to mean?_ ' Zidane pondered

"I... I had heard some rumours that she had..."

"Real people in her gallery? They are mere rumours, sir. She finds them very amusing actually - Her Majesty takes them as a testament to the ability of the creators of those artworks she buys, and a tribute to her own taste in art."

"I see..." the fat man said. Zidane thought he did not sound convinced - to be honest, the tall man didn't sound too convinced in what he was saying either.

' _Wait a second... an auction? What if I get sold before I get turned back?! And to someone who won't care if I was a real person before or not? oh man... I might really be a statue forever..._ '

He worried over this prospect until nightfall, and then, blacked out.

* * *

He awoke, and was puzzled to find himself in a well lit room, staring down at a number of people sitting on rows of chairs. This was not the gallery...

"Ladies and gentlemen, this auction is for 'The Wild Boy Warrior'. Although only recently unveiled, this statue has attracted a considerable amount of attention in the art world. We will open the bidding at 10,000 gil," a voice beside Zidane said.

He was sure it was the short fat man, the gallery owner.

' _Oh crap, its happening! I'm trapped forever!_ '

A hand shot up in the crowd. It was the tall man.

"15,000!"

"20,000!" A very attractive blonde woman behind the tall man bid.

' _Oh, well,if I'm going to be a statue forever it might as well be with her..._ '

"30,000!" A fat woman to the left shouted before the auctioneer could speak

' _Aaaaaaagh!_ '

"50,000!" Someone out of his vision shouted

' _...Who was that?_ '

"55,000!" the tall man tried again.

' _Come on blondie, outbid lanky and fatass!_ '

"60,000!" The blonde woman bid

'Y _es!_ '

"70,000!" The fat woman yelled

'A _aaaaie!_ '

No one spoke for a moment.

"I have 70,000, looking for 80,000, do I have 80,000?" The auctioneer asked.

' _Please someone have 80,000!_ '

"90,000!" A man in the back said. Zidane could not see him properly.

'O _h phew, hope fatso gets scared off..._ '

"100,000!" the thin man said.

"100,000, do I have 110,000? going once..."

'O _h well, at least the Alexandrian soldiers are cute..._ '

"...Going twice..."

' _And I hear the Princess is pretty too._ '

"Going three times..."

' _I wonder if maybe the Princess will fall in love with me and try to turn me into a real person?_ '

"Sold!" the auctioneer shouted, and slammed the gavel down.

* * *

Zidane awoke again, to find himself in fact in the gallery. The sun was just rising.

' _Weird... it must have been a dream._ '

Zidane was still a little anxious about the risk of being sold off at auction, but Blank came in and told him there was one last item to steal -an emerald necklace. They would be turning him back tonight, for they had heard of the interest in buying him. Blank also told him to meet the rest of the gang in a street a few minutes away from the gallery.

That night, he heard a noise above him. A few seconds later, he felt something smash off his head, and then warmth began to spread. The stone transformed back to flesh, a wave spreading down his body, though he found himself immobile for a few moments, even after the soft's effect was apparently done. He panicked thinking there had some mistake, before he managed to wiggle his toes and then blink. slowly he was able to move, but he still felt stiff - but now he was alive again!Okay, for some reason the clay in his hair and tail was still wet, but he could ignore that...

He quickly fetched the items he was to steal, stuffing them carefully into the pocket of the loincloth. He then made his way to the exit of the room, and was glad to find no guards in the hall outside. Zidane managed to then sneak his way out unseen, escaping from a window and fleeing into the streets of Treno. Luckily, there was no one out, and he soon reached the others without being spotted. 

"Welcome back, Zidane!" Blank said, holding up a sack. He dumped the contents on the ground. It was Zidane's normal clothes. Cinna and Ruby each held a jug of water, and Marcus a comb.

"What's this for?"

"Get the clay out of your hair," Marcus said, as the trio descended upon him.

A few minutes of protesting later, Zidane had wet hair with no clay in it.

"Well, get dressed. We can't stay here all night," Blank said.

"What, here?" 

"Where else?"

Zidane sighed, and changed his clothes.

"You know, next time we do something like this, it's Blank or Ruby, all right? I'm never doing that again!" Zidane complained as he finished getting dressed.

"Yeah, yeah. You won't get me turned to stone in a million years, Zidane. Now lets get out of here," Blank said.

* * *

Three days later, back in Lindblum, the client was pleased to have 'his' gem back. Tantalus meanwhile sold on the other items, and Zidane and the others waited for Baku to return to the hideout. Their boss barged in, followed by Persephone.

"Listen up! We're splitting the takings so Zidane gets a bigger cut. Anyone disagrees, they get punched. We all agree?"

"How come he gets a bigger cut?" Cinna complained. A fist silenced him and knocked him flat.

"And Cinna of course gets a smaller cut than everyone else."

Baku divided the cash up. As soon as Zidane got his share, he made for the door.

"Where you going?" Baku asked

"I've done enough standing around for a lifetime. I'm gonna spend this - fast," Zidane said. Baku shrugged, and let him leave.

"So, what happened after we left?" Blank asked Persephone.

"Well, a lot of people are very angry that the statue was apparently stolen - Queen Brahne amongst them. The guards have no idea how it happened, and they're almost certain the statue was stolen along with the other items. I don't think we need to worry about them figuring out the truth."

"Not unless they see Zidane walkin' around..." Ruby noted.

"Yeah, well, somehow I think he'll be staying away from Treno," Marcus noted.

"How come?" Baku asked.

"He seemed kinda bored stiff of it last time, Boss..." Marcus grinned, to laughter from all bar the unconscious Cinna. 

**Author's Note:**

> The very first fic I uploaded to Deviantart, or at least, the recently updated and cleaned-up version.


End file.
